I read a joke in a book the other day.
Bookstore customer: "Could you direct me to the self-help section?"
Bookstore clerk: "Well if that's what you're looking for you shouldn't need me."
I thought it was funny but later it got me to thinking how true and ironic it actually is. We all know how cheesy many self-help books are. I've read a few hoping they might be some miracle secret that will teach you how to live a happy life. I've found strength in some, but it's usually short lived.
I realized a long time ago that you can't change someone who doesn't want to change. I learned that a person has to change themselves. It led to letting go of the responsibility to make someone better, one that always came with a fair amount mental weight.
You can read all the self-help books in that section of the bookstore but in the end you truly have to help yourself. Some people can guide and support you along the way, but you must put in the work. You are the one that is living your own life. I have found that the most change in my life has come when I don't even know it's happening.