Thursday, July 26, 2012

Life is not a timeline

Recently I've been struggling to get my head and my heart on the same page. The thing is, they are so different that they sometimes don't agree. There are so many things that I believe to be true in my heart, but my head takes a little more convincing. 

One example is my above title. I don't know why we are forced to believe that our lives need to be broken up into a series of events. And we must live in those events and when they are over they are over. What I am feeling  right now is that I am at the career beginning event in my life.  If I don't use this time wisely I'm going to miss my chance. Maybe I won't have the picturesque career start like I might have envisioned years ago.

 I can relate it to how it was when I was preparing to go to Morocco for two years and what it felt like to actually be there. You can't quite prepare yourself for what it is going to feel like until you are actually on the ground. Three or four years ago I didn't know what it was going to feel like to be 26 years old. Now that I am here it feels different that what I prepared for. What if I don't use this time right now to start some amazing career that I was educated for? What if I instead quit worrying about it and just live? Just worry about what is truly important to me like writing and human connection. If I can truly get my head to believe that those things are the only ones that really matter I can truly succeed. 

The truth is you never know how you are going to feel tomorrow. Just because you thought you had something figured out years ago doesn't mean you have to stick with it now. We are always changing and growing and it's only natural. Instead base how you feel on today. Be where you are right now and live your life according to your current standards.