Monday, May 7, 2012

Breaking my own rules

I've been breaking some of my own rules. Namely "remember not to take anything too seriously". This one has actually been crossed off my life list because at one point I was there. But just like I can't take back any of the experiences I've had, I can't take back this. I've gotten there and I need to stay.

To catch everyone up on the life of me, I've been swimming around in a sea of possibility trying to figure out what to do with myself. My job at Jackson High School ends very soon and I have to find something to do to earn money, pay my bills, and hopefully get positive job experience. Many things have crossed my mind but the truth is I just don't know what's right.

This whole lack of not knowing where to go, what to work for, and what to focus on has gotten me down. Down to wear I cripple myself with my own insecurities. It's like the strength I built over the past two years has left me.

I could wallow in my own self pity or I can stay positive. I can remember my own rule of not taking anything to seriously and stop taking myself so damn seriously. Life is difficult and the struggle we feel today is the strength we feel tomorrow. There can be beauty in the struggle.

So moving forward I'm going to keep in mind how positive I've always been. My positivity has always gotten me through before and it will carry me through my trials ahead.