Wednesday, February 16, 2011

About stubbornness

I was born under the sign of the raging bull. One of my many spot on Taurus traits is stubbornness. If you choose to believe that the stars’ alignment has anything to do with the way we act then you can say I had no choice in the matter. Or you could say it is just a coincidence. Or maybe there are no coincidences. Anyways that’s nothing that needs to be pondered here. Point is I’m stubborn.

Stubbornness is a little bit hard to describe. It can be the unwillingness to back down. Well that you could call perseverance. Or the ability to make something difficult that doesn’t have to be. Maybe you could call that being passionate. Whatever it may be  we all know what it is.

As stubborn as I though I was back home I didn’t know it was possible to become more so. But being in Morocco has really grown the stubborn bone in me.

As good as being stubborn feels it is  exhausting at the same time. It is a way to protect yourself from being vulnerable. A figurative throwing up of your arms to protect your head.

But it’s exhausting because at least for me stubbornness provokes a certain amount of stress. Stress an uneven breathing patterns.

I get stubborn when it comes to money. When it comes time for me to part with it I get stubborn as a mule. But most of all I get stubborn when I know I’m not getting a fair price. I’ll make the situation slightly difficult and sometimes make a mini-scene all to prevent being made a fool of.

How can back down when my intelligence is being insulted. That intelligence wasn’t cheap you know.

I also get stubborn when mistreatment of women comes into play. I get angry at the fact that some men think the world is theirs. However, the stubbornness that comes with standing up for women is not that in America, it’s just normal.

It’s a perfect segue  to why being in Morocco has made me more stubborn. It is because I am faced with situations that I am not faced with at home. And I am almost always forced to be on the defense. It is a lot to keep up and it’s tiring. That is why it’s so nice to have a few wonderful girlfriends and a family here that I can be myself with and let my guard down.